Author: admin

I started the year traveling to Africa! That was a once in a lifetime experience. No we did not go to South Africa which is quite the tourist destination. We spent (3) weeks traveling throughout Senegal where Raleigh was located as a Peace Corps Volunteer! It was an amazing experience.

We met the most wonderful locals everywhere we went. We also enjoyed meeting many of the other Peace Corps Volunteers that served in the same area. These young people were the best of the best! We enjoyed spending time with them as much as we did in the Village!

I had not been home a month when the phone call came – Raleigh was being transported to a Medical facility and could I get in touch with his mother? Oh and did I know his blood type! OMG yes to both. He had been attacked by a moto gang with machetes. He was losing a lot of blood. My heart dropped into my stomach. I immediately contacted his mother in Australia. She talked to someone in the ambulance that could not give her much information except that there was a lot of blood. Then nothing. We then started trying to contact his friends but they were unable to ascertain any information either. Finally his mother contacted the Peace Corps Duty Desk in Washington DC that was able to get information from Africa and relay to her in Australia which she was able to relay back to me in the USA.

He was Medevaced back to Washington DC and had surgery 5 days after the incident. He spent 45 days there for recovery hoping to return to Africa – he did not as all Peace Corps Volunteers were literally sent home to their home of record due to the Covid19 Crisis.

Raleigh is now in Hartsville with me on lockdown! We go nowhere for fear of the virus making its way to me. He would prefer to go to Australia and spend some time with his mother before he starts the next segment of his life. However all borders into Australia are closed.

We sit on the front porch and wonder what the rest of Hartsville doesn’t understand about social distancing. We watch teenagers race up and down Main Street with car loads of kids. We watch older people go to the store (2) or (3) times a day. We probably drink too much Bourbon and Baileys. We probably binge watch too many Netflix shows. We probably order too many pizzas for no contact delivery from across the street.

We have to look at a calendar to see what day of the week it is. We thought it was the end of April but it was the 17th. Will this month ever end! Will the Virus ever go away? Will I ever be able to travel again?

Will I ever be able to go to Walmart again or will I even want to? Will I go to Lowe’s again? These seem to be the places that people take their children so they are able to expend some energy. It is beyond my comprehension what people are thinking when they take unnecessary trips to any store during this Virus Outbreak. Do they not read the news? Do they not watch TV?

It is spring here! It is fall in Australia! Australia has maybe (1) new case a day. Why!? Because they follow the guidelines set forth by their government to stop the spread! Of course money is definitely an excellent motivator! They are fined $1344.50 if they are caught not following the guidelines! You might say this seems a bit extreme – I say this seems to be effective and I wish we had done the same! It will probably be fall here before we are free to roam about.

They – whoever they are – say it is ok not to be ok! We are not ok.

I’ve made it. I am 70 years old. That is amazing reality. I have outlived both of of my parents by more than 20 years; my 4 siblings are also still living and enjoying the senior years.

Our father died at the age of 48. My younger sister was 10 and my oldest brother was 22. The other 3 of us were aged in between. Our mother died a few years later.  There was alot of tragedy, sickness and poverty during those years. The expectation was that none of us would be more than kids continuing in the same circle of struggles and poverty.

We have beaten all those odds. We not only survived but are high achievers with successes beyond the norm.

The struggles made us who we are as individuals. The history, cancer, and memories give our bonds a bit more than most siblings. 

Our mother died from a tireless and long bout with cancer. What were the odds that 3 of us would be diagnosed with cancer? We weren’t until 5 years ago.. I was the first.. I completed my treatment plan 5 years ago this month. My older brother was diagnosed in December of this past year.. quickly followed by our youngest brother being diagnosed. They are both in recovery from their surgery and treatments. So. we are reminded of the pain and misery our mother experienced… What are those odds? Lousy odds, but fortunately, we didn’t have to experience this until our old age.

In a lot of ways, these cancer diagnoses have reminded me of our mortality.. it seems to bring a sense of closeness and bonds with each other not experienced since we were children.

We have not had to contend with the poverty, life struggles, and 3 younger children to take care of as our mother did. We are all fortunate enough to have good medical care.. no poverty.. no life survival struggles. None of us have had to watch our 17 year old son be shipped off to Viet Nam as a boots on the ground, Marine. That in itself would be enough to put a mother over the edge without adding in cancer, poverty, and an absent husband.

Gratitude seems to be the best gift I have been blessed with. It took a while for me to unravel this, but it is so much easier to be grateful and happy.

When you think of a birthday you think of decorated cakes and gifts..however there is absolutely nothing that I want or need as a gift. I truly have it all.. well maybe a small house on the water would be nice. Lol

I have traveled all over the world.. this started with my career in the Navy for 20 years and that was only the beginning.. traveling is my passion. I have visited over 30 countries and 6 continents. I love history, reading, writing, good friends and family. I have fond memories of all the wonderful people I have met and shared stories with. I have shared tea with people in an African Village that have never experienced any modern convencies in life but yet are some of the happiest and most genuine people in the world. I have been protected by the Mafiosa in Italy and was never afraid. I have drank expensive whiskey in Ireland. I saw some of the oldest trees in the world in Australia.. They were amazing.

I experienced a true Finnish Sauna in Hesinki.. I was in Iceland when it was daylight at 330 in the morning. Crazy.

So many travels. So many memories.. I just want to keep making them. Sometimes I feel like I need to hurry..after all I am now 70.

Today I feel like I’ve been one of the luckiest people in the 🌎. 

What were the odds I would be this successful and happy!

Raleigh and I started the drive out to Denver on Christmas Eve 2020. He was starting his next adventure. I was riding out with him for the company and to meet Cheryl who was flying in from Australia to see us for a couple of weeks. Her and I would fly back to our homes after we celebrated his birthday.

On the way out he and I had many discussions and long talks. It seemed as if we had gone full circle. He was the one that was worrying. We had been in COVID lock down for almost a year and he was concerned that I was going to become a hermit or just a lonely old woman who did not take care of my physical or mental health. Throughout our many discussions I made the promise that I would faithfully get out out of the house and go to the YMCA and swim. I absolutely refused to agree to any formal classes or group activities, but felt as if I could swim a couple of times a week.

I had not done any swimming since I was a child, but was confident enough in the water to know I could float and get up and down the lane in a pool. When I returned from Denver I did start swimming and I was able to do 8 Laps. I started going three (3) times a week. My next goal was 13, then 17, then 25 Laps then on and on. I discovered I loved being in the water.

I found myself getting up daily to go to the pool. I needed another swimsuit. I was swimming so much I decided to invest in an underwater music player with headphones. Now I have all the gear; the extra swimsuits, extra goggles, flippers, special shampoo. I’m beginning to think I must be a real swimmer.

My mental health has improved by the day. The pounds have come off and my body has seemed to change shape. I no longer feel as old. I now swim 3 hours without stopping. I am up to 111 Laps. 108 Laps is the equivalent of a runner doing a 1/2 Marathon! My confidence that I can do more has lead me to believe that maybe – just maybe – I can swim the English Channel.

When I started swimming I read that if I could swim 25 Laps I could swim 50. I equated this same scenario to “if I could swim 1 hour I could swim 2 hours”. Now I can swim 3 hours so surely I can swim 6 hours. After I can swim 6 hours I can swim 12 and then I will be ready! I think I can …..

The medical benefits have been amazing. My blood pressure has not been this low in 20 years. I still smoke but nothing like I used to. My eating habits are much healthier.

However, I will say that the mental benefits have been the best.. without swimming I am not sure what might have happened to me this past year. The scare and lock downs associated with COVID, the loss of some very close friends, the first year of not being employed at all: it has all been so much to do handle. I have been fortunate to be able to get up every morning and go to the Y, put on my headphones, plug into my own thoughts and just swim.

Tomorrow I will get up and go to the pool; I will swim somewhere between 50 and 70 Laps. Wednesday or Thursday I will swim my long distance. Not sure how far, but it will be further than 111 and longer than 3 hours! I am in training. England to France .. hopefully. But if not the benefits have been more than worth it.

Kevin was the 4th of 5 children. He was born on his brother Mike’s birthday which did not please Mike who was 4 at the time. Kevin was known as big foot as a toddler: I personally think this was because he never wore shoes! I can still see his brown feet running about all over the place with no hesitation of rocks or heat. He did however develop an allergy to bees which would make his feet about twice the normal size!

When Kevin started Kindergarten we were still living on West White Street. However he really did not like school and would leave at the earliest possible opportunity! Yes he was leaving school to play hooky! I do remember one time he could not be be found between school and home only to be located sound asleep in the bushes at home. When we moved to the country he had to be carried to the bus and forced to go to school!

Kevin did manage to grow into a teenager and met Melissa. Melissa had a wonderful and normal family that lived close to the Junior High. They provided him with what he didn’t have at home. Normal life and examples as how families are supposed to interact is how Kevin learned to become the man he is today.

He was also quite attached to our grandmother who hung all of his art work in her house – she was always so proud and he was quite the artist. He started to follow her around the kitchen at a very young age! He is the only one of all of us that has her skills in the kitchen. He can cook her dumplings, make bread and pies that make your mouth water just thinking about them. It is just something that he can recreate those dishes and memories. He is amazing in the kitchen. He also can make home made egg noodles for vegetable soup. When you walk into his house and he is cooking the smells take me back 50 or 60 years. Oh my-where has the time gone? Kevin has continued with his art: he illustrates and writes a book for his grandchildren every year. They could be published and sold but he only does it for the love of his grandkids.

Kevin joined the Airforce after high school and married Melissa not too long after that: naturally on St Patrick’s Day as it should be for a Murphy. He had a successful stint in the Airforce and after that started a career in the Federal Prison System. Through his abilities, drive and hard work he quickly went from a Blue Collar worker to a White Collar executive.

Kevin and Melissa have 2 beautiful grown children and 2 grandchildren. I will say that he is the only one of my siblings not to have experienced divorce. He and Melissa have worked through the good times and the bad times and the hard times to make it work! They should be applauded!

Another fun memory is how long he could sleep as teenager. There were times he would literally sleep from Friday night until Sunday night! It was crazy especially as now I know he rises early to read or write or work on illustrations. Or he might just be thinking about a new project. His mind is always busy.

He has a lot of passion. In so many ways he and I are a lot alike. This probably created friction between the 2 of us when we were younger. However as time has aged our memories we have developed a deep respect and love for each other.

I’ll never forget December 31, 1976 when Kevin came home after watching our mother die and tossed our entire Christmas tree in the front yard, decorations and all. My biggest hope for him is that he never has to experience that much pain ever again.

I am very proud of the man, father, husband and grandfather you have become but also the brother you are.

My sister, Mary Anne, is the youngest of five (5) of us siblings. There were two (2) of us girls and 3 boys. She never knew our mother when there wasn’t sickness, poverty or horrific things going on in our lives or at our house. The only unconditional love she ever knew was from our grandmother. Mom was always moving us from house to house. Grandma always lived in the same house and not much ever changed. She was always there for us. There was the time Mom was in the hospital for multiple weeks due to burns all over her upper body. Then the Cancer came and came and never stopped. I think Mary Anne was in grade school when mom was first diagnosed. Our father was in and out of our lives: he was a Merchant Marine that travelled the world and sailed the seas. However to us he was mostly an abusive alcoholic. He was quite scary the older he got and he was only 48 when he died of Acute Alcoholism in some hole in the wall in New Orleans. The odds that any of us would ever survive any of this were slim. Our mother died a few years later of cancer which was probably magnified by the stress in her life. The odds that Mary Anne would ever survive and be a productive adult were slimmer. She was basically an orphan at a very early age.

However let me tell you! She has not only succeeded as being a healthy productive adult but an amazing parent. She has raised three (3) children to be independent and happy. Her oldest son Dylan is employed by the Federal Prison system and does whatever is needed to help his mom out! Her oldest daughter Leah is graduating from Law School in May. Her youngest daughter Maggie is graduating from Ohio State in May. Who woulda thought Mary Anne could and would grow up and graduate and raise these three (3) beautiful children.

There was not anyone in Southern Illinois that thought any of us, especially Mary Anne would ever grow up to be anything. We were too poor, too cold, too hungry, too alone, too misguided to ever make it. Some thought our brothers might be ok as they were very handsome.. we were just their sisters.

She did and her children are the proof. I think a big shout out to Mary Anne for surviving the unsurvivable childhood she had to endure is long overdue. I am proud of her and all of her children! You did good!

I woke up and looked up off the floor to the outside; Cheryl was outside and smiling. She seemed quite chipper. She saw me awake and said “I don’t have a good mirror so how does my makeup look!?” I only stared at her and quietly said help me get off this floor and get to that hole that is the bathroom out back! I was not chipper!

Raleigh heard us chattering and came out from his tent. He fired up his propane stove and prepared us a pot of old fashioned percolated coffee. It smelled fabulous and it was. He also told us to prepare for visitors soon. Our plan was to tour his Master Farm and the Women’s Garden before the festivities began.

I was looking forward to Oatmeal cooked by him over his stove. This did not happen. Breakfast was delivered by different families; large bowls of Millet (pounded grain cooked with milk and sugar and then topped with homemade yogurt. Nope, I couldn’t even pretend to eat this but Raleigh devoured his and Cheryl dug right in as if she had been eating it her entire life!

We were told we should not go to the farm or garden; we should relax and rest. One of Raleigh’s friends from a near village bicycled over to assist him with us for the day. Paula was not only a joy, but truly a blessing. One of them was always with us throughout the day to translate for us and guide us.

Our party clothes were delivered. All (3) of us had matching outfits! Oh boy.

You could hear and feel the excitement in the Village. When the time came to get dressed Paula assisted us with our outfits and a Vilage lady came to tie our Tikis properly. Tikis are the headwear.

When it was time for the party we were taken outside the hut; we were greeted by the musicians and at least 1/2 the Village and all the children. We had to walk and wave the route to the party. We also had to take hundreds of photos as we go; they absolutely love having their photo taken. The parade began. The route was lined with the young and the old, and the goats and sheet. The musicians were a drummer, a whistle blower and (2) violinists (violins home made with carved wood and horse hair as strings). Amazing music.

We were taken to a shady area where chairs had been set up and the dancing began under the large tree. Many of the ladies from Raleigh’s village had to leave to start cooking about a 100 yards away. The ladies from the surrounding villages did not have to help with the cooking as they were guests.

We were expected to witness and enjoy the killing of the goat which was done in our honour. I am happy to report that we were to step aside and not see the actual act itself. Being the man Raleigh was expected up front and he was.

More music and more dancing by everyone including us. However the best part was when we had Raleigh and Housman start passing out candy and blowing up balloons! I have never seen children so patient waiting for (2) pieces of candy and yet so excited. The balloons not only put the children over the moon but the Village Elders as well.

Finally the time has come to eat. They instructed the (4) of us to return to Raleigh’s hut to await our dinner. It was delivered by Housman and his wife. We had goat, grilled fish, 2 different kinds of rice and carrots and cabbage. All of this was mostly in one big bowl.

When dinner was done Raleigh cooked us some coffee and then Housman and his wife left. I immediately went to the bathroom area, stripped down and enjoyed a lovely bucket bath. The water was not that warm and I knew these 10 gallons needed to be shared, but it was by far a very lovely Bucket Bath. I was aware of people on the other side of the fence but I just didn’t care. I was hot. I was dirty. I was tired. The dry air blows so much dirt and dust all day that your body and clothes are just embedded with dirt.

Seems as though I did use too much water so Raleigh had to return to the well so the others could bathe. Nothing is easy. Paula realised she would not be able to make the 1.5 hour trek back to her village on her bike. She had a flat tire. Nothing is easy. Raleigh made arrangements for a Moto (motorcycle) to take her home.

Day is done and party is over but we decide to walk down to the corner where the Tea Lady sets up every evening for travellers. There is also usually a card game going on that Raleigh plays in. The tea lady will cook you an egg sandwich or make you a bean sandwich for your trip or just a nice cup of tea. The tea is quite soothing and tasty. Travelllers pass through on busses, motos and charrots (wagons pulled by donkeys).

This was a fun and relaxing evening. We enjoyed listening to Raleigh joke and laugh with the locals in their language. They all laugh a lot, including him. This makes my heart happy. I’m sure this is his Xanax and his sanity.

We walked back to the Hut about 9:30. All we saw were small campfires outside the huts surrounded by families visiting, eating and laughing. It was Peace.

Our night out was over but the process of getting ready for bed had just began. We had one more day left in the Village and one more night after this one. I can do this. Raleigh does it everyday and every night.

We exited the bus at the Village and were met by many children, adults and a few goats and sheep. As introductions were made in the Native Language of Pular I couldn’t help but notice nothing but grass huts and dirt paths. This was much more primitive than I had imagined.

Cheryl had written a cheat sheet on the palm of her hand for greetings, but she lost complete control when the Village people started talking. After greetings were exchanged we were escorted to Raleigh’s hut with our bags.

However before we could slow down and and take any of this in, he immediately had to take us to greet the Village elders and Chief. At one of the Huts we were offered food and Raleigh said we must accept it or they would be offended.

The large stainless bowl was Lallo; white rice with a pile of Green Leaf Sauce in the middle. Raleigh whipped out 3 large spoons and we sat down around the small fire to share this large bowl. OMG! I was able to eat a few spoonfuls of the rice until Cheryl shined her phone light on the food. THE END. I could eat no more, but she did just fine and represented her and I well.

After all the visiting we returned to his hut to prepare for our first night of sleep. He set up his small tent under his arbour in his fenced in back yard; then the process started. He and Cheryl went to the well which is about 50 yards away from his hut. They filled up (3) ten gallon buckets with well water. One would be used to slowly put through his filter for drinking; one would be used for washing up after using the bathroom and the other was for bathing. You leave it sitting out so it will warm up enough for a pleasant bucket shower.

He has a semi private area fenced off for going to the bathroom and bathing. The hole for using the bathroom is approximately 8 inches in diameter. You must squat and find the hole; that’s all I’m going to say about that and there will be no photos.

He then unrolls his bed for us and immediately puts up the mosquito net. This is wrapped very tightly under the mattress to not only keep out mosquitoes but also other varments. This is an entire process just to get setup to get ready to get ready for bed.

He does have a solar light that provides just enough light to find the hole for the bathroom, the cup for the filtered water, and the suitcase we are sharing with our clothes. The other suitcase is full of goodies for the children in the village. This entire process has worn me out.

We are finally settled in for the first night; I hear the goats, the sheep, the cows, the donkeys, the children and the drums.

Now I wonder if I can make it through one night. The Party is tomorrow so I must stay, but how will I make it 3 nights!

We left the Hotel in Kolda via taxi and went to the “Garage”. This is NOT what you or I think of as a garage. It was a massive chaos of cars, busses, people and vendors parked in no particular order. The busses and cars were surrounded by people everywhere, including children, selling their wares, food items and drinks. Some were selling from cartons on top of their head! Amazing. Some were selling from walking about and some had a small stand set up.

Somehow Raleigh knew exactly where our bus was by who the people working around it were. How he spotted them is beyond me. In leadership style he instructed Cheryl and I to get on the bus, find seats and stay seated. This was easy as the bus was not full yet. We located (3) excellent bench seats in the back. We continued to notice the front of the bus continued to fill up but we were satisfied with our choice. We had windows that opened and one of the back doors opened creating a bit of a breeze.

This bus was originally made to hold 15 passengers. By the time we were ready to roll out Raleigh had purchased us each a bag of cold water and the most delicious frozen popsicle; Bissap, it is made from Hibuscus into small frozen chunks and wrapped in plastic! He also purchased Kola Nuts to take to his Village Family; he always takes them something edible as a token of respect and thanks.

There were (3) ladies sitting across from us on the bus. They said I was a Kalibante; via Raleiigh’s translation this means a “rascal”. They had said I should be drop kicked as I knew no Pular! Pular is the local language. They were getting quite the laugh and then Raleigh explained that I was his grandmother and only in the region for a short visit so I was forgiven.

His language skills are amazing to us. After we left the Garage with 26 passengers we thought we were on our way! NOT … 2 young men that worked with the driver, rode on the back holding onto the ladder. As we would pass someone that needed a ride the young men would bang on the top of the bus and we would slow down. One would grab the persons bag and the other would pull the passenger onto the bus and push them in. By the time we arrived at our destination we at least 42 passengers and there were chickens under the seats! This number does not include the 3 or 4 babies. And crazy enough the babies never cried or fussed.

There was a lady close to our stop that complimented me on my necklace using hand signals. I smiled and nodded. Well, she then gets mad. Raleigh said they think if they compliment you on a personal item you are supposed to give it to them. This did not happen and she was quite offended and made it known.

I should also let it be known that I had on long shorts and had smoked a cigarette before boarding the bus. This is Taboo. My calves were showing and I was smoking in public! I had definitely earned the term “Kalibante”.

The trip is planned. Raleigh will return to Hartsville for 15 days during the holidays and we will transit back to Africa together. Cheryl will join us there from Australia. Our trip from New York is 9 hours and her trip from Sydney is 26 hours! 

We have talked about this trip since the day he was accepted into the Peace Corps. Ideally we would have gone when Cheryl was in Afghanistan, but the timing for us to be in country with him just did not work until now. 

His Aunt Joyce and Melinda had expressed interest in going with us, but the more stories they heard the less interested they seemed to be. Everyone seemed to back off at the thought of going to the bathroom in a hole in the ground! Melinda has even asked for photos of this event. I can promise you this is not going to happen! 

Our itinerary is semi planned. We will stay in Dakar for a few days. This is the capital of Senegal and where the only International Airport is located. Our next stop will be Saly which is a coastal tourist area. We booked a nice all inclusive resort for a few days. From there we will start our trek south to the city of Kolda which is located in the region of Kolda. His Village is also located in the region of  Kolda. We will stay there a few days before we transit to the Village. 

The Village is planning a large celebration and party when we are there. We are told there will be a goat slaughtered in our honour. There will be music, dancing and lots of fun. We provided our measurements in advance for our new attire. 

We realise there will be nothing ordinary about this vacation. Raleigh has prepared us the best he can. However, we are ready to take it on and see how the people of Senegal live and how he lives. Yes, we have heard the stories, but we know seeing it with our own eyes and living it if only for a short while will provide us with a different perspective. 

Here we go. Let the adventure begin.